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User blog:Gaskarths/What I Need To Say
There's a fuckton of triggers in this blog. Read at your own risk. With the things that were said here in this past hour, I decided that now's a pretty good time for me to share my story with you all. It's really personal, yeah, but I'm ready. I was originally afraid to post this on here, but I feel it's practically a duty of mine to share my thoughts with you guys because I can't stand the fact that years after my experiences back in high school, the ignorance that was present in my 9th grade class is still present in this world to this day. I will admit that before my freshman year of high school, I possessed the same ignorance that we saw on this night. I was naive; the thoughts that I led myself to believe were selfish as fuck and I want to cringe every time I look back at them. In my world, sex was for people who wanted kids and nothing more. I always considered people who chose to remain abstinent & pure to be cowards, yet the people who lost their virginity were whores. I was like that from the moment I found out what sex was, and I continued to stay that way until my freshman year. And here's when things get personal. At the age of fourteen years old, I lost my virginity at a party without giving consent. (rape) It's amazing...and heartbreaking how I woke up that morning a virgin and left that party as no longer pure. Needless to say, it was terrifying. And what bit down the hardest was the aftermath. The things that went around school were things I never thought I would be associated with. I was the new scapegoat of the school. I was no longer the well-liked girl I was before that damn party. I was now the girl who was always just joking around about sex with her friends yet was actually one of the first people of the freshman class to lose her virginity! I was a fucking slut... And I was defenseless. With all the coldness I experienced following the assault came waves of truth and revelation. I allowed myself to do thinking in the times that I spent locked up in my bedroom, sealing off the rest of the world so I could hide from all the people who turned their backs on me. Now, sex & virginity are fragile things. It's not just something you can throw around. Intercourse is about being vulnerable, and permanently giving something up. Once it's gone, it's gone. What you decide to do with your body is your choice and only your choice, and nobody can change that or make an attempt to. The absolute bottom line is that what happens before, during and after sex, and all your reasons to do so is completely up to you and your partner, and no one else. Period. I am no longer the girl I used to be in ninth grade. I have learned so much and I still have more to learn. I have become more mature and I'm proud of myself for that. But I am one soul out of billions, and I know that not everyone is willing to accept the truth as well as I did. Ignorance and misconceptions regarding sex will likely continue to exist in this world until the end of time...but I'm so glad I was able to learn, because I've been able to become a new person through all the things I taught myself. I may just be one soul, but every person counts. One soul is all we really need, when you really get down to it. I obviously had things to say and I'm glad that I was able to get it out tonight. I'd would like to thank you for reading this and allowing me to say what I wanted to say. Thank you for letting me stay. Category:Blog posts